Life is full of choices, and when it comes to me I tend to make choices that are sometimes bad but, it turns out to be good for me in the long run.I have made some choices, some serious choices which brings me to where I am right now.
Moving across the world alone is not an easy thing.Leaving everything and everyone you know is something that anyone would think about atleast ten times but, I did not have much choice on deciding that and I had to make a choice that was going to change my life forever.Either I could drop a year and prepare for NEET or I could get into the college abroad, where I was qualified to get an admission.And I chose the latter and it is by far the best decision that i ever made.
The one thing that I have known about myself is that, I get a major anxiety when I am in a public place and that has improved a lot since I got here.But the day that I was told to get ready to leave the country was when my anxiety started building up more and more.The nearer the day for me to leave the country arrived, the more anxious I had become.All I could think was-What am I gonna do without my parents or friends or family?. People asked me if I was scared to leave my home and start an entirely new life in a new continent which to be honest, is the most stupid question that anyone could ask someone who was doing that. Inspite of all the excitement that came with what I was going to do, it came with a package and it was the fear of missing home and fear of dissappointing my parents and the latter one was bothering the heck out of me.The day for my departure arrived swiftly and I could not sleep the night before.Morning came early for me and I was weeping in our hotel bathroom.I was scared.
The feeling when arriving in Kiev was totally different as it was my first time doing it all alone.I was excited and I found that to be strange because I was not feeling like a scared little girl anymore.I somehow knew that from now I had to do it all alone. Hostel was nice but it was a co-ed hostel and that meant boys and girls could come and go in each others rooms whenever they felt like and it did not sit well with me. Again, I had to make a choice-either live with the fact that anyone can burst into your room whenever they feel like or rent an apartment and have a private life.Here again I chose the latter.Apartments are surprisingly not that expensive as compared to my country and it is a double bonus for me as I am splitting the rent with my two other flatmates.My classes started soon after I moved into the apartment but my roommate and me, we were in different groups which means we were having totally different schedules inspite of being in the first year of college.Another challenge, I had to travel by myself. Great. I am not that good with maps and this was such a big thing for me and I was almost tempted to use Uber as my transportation but Uber over here is kinda expensive and I had no choice but to travel in the bus using the translator and the maps as the language over here was a total alien to me and it still is but I no longer need my translator as I have begun to understand some basics like, please, thank you, excuse me, etc., and talking about the map, I still use it, its my comfort item and I have improved a lot and last week I found the correct route to my nearest ATM.
2017 is the year that my life changed completely. I like the changes, looking back at the old dependent me, I could have never done those things that i had to do here alone like walking all alone to the bus stand and waiting for the right bus while pretending to be on the phone with someone because you have no one to talk to by your side, asking your fellow passenger to pass on your bus fare while anxiously waiting for the change to come back to you and thinking what if this was India?, your fare would have never reached the conductor and laughing to myself because there is no one to share your thoughts with, going to the university a bit earlier than the rest of them in order to search for the room number for your scheduled class. If I had a choice to be able to do all of that with a friend the old me would have taken that in a split second but now I will not change a single thing because it has made me the way I am today. Looking back I never understood why I never felt the need to do something on my own, I always used to drag my friends around in order to get my stuffs done, I was too dependent on my friends and I was too scared to come out my comfort zone but now everything has changed. The lesser company you have the more you are compelled to do things on your own.
My choices made me who I am today and how I can do things on my own now without waiting for someone to do it for me.This new year I will have my fare share of choices to make and I hope that I make the best ones. Everybody has a choice in their life-either stay in your cocoon like I used to before or push yourselves a little bit everyday to do things that you could never fathom.I encourage you to make a choice that you are most scared of because one day you will discover that you are fierce and strong and full of fire, and that not even you yourself can hold you back because you gotta do what you gotta do. If you choose what you fear the most it will be gone when you achieve it because fear is temporary but if you don’t face your fear the regret you will have is permanent.
New year will bring you many opportunities and you will need to make some choices. Its okay to be scared because that means you are about to do something really really brave.Even I am scared of all the wrong choices that I might make but lets face the fear and do it anyway.Its your choice and whatever you choose I pray that it will be the right one.
HAPPY NEW YEAR.